There have recently been several reports of players’ experience at the bridge table being spoiled by the behaviour at the table of other members.

This inappropriate behaviour has included :

  • Overt display of displeasure when the Director is called
  • Unnecessarily asking if a bid should be alerted
  • Querying the meaning of bids in an aggressive manner
  • Disagreement with Director’s rulings
  • Rudeness or aggressive behaviour which makes people feel uncomfortable

We are an odd bunch who have been brought together by our love of bridge. We need to be kinder to each other for three reasons, philosophical, practical and legal.

Philosophical

I have relied on Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics for their wisdom on kindness.

Marcus maintains that “kindness to our fellow creatures is at all times incumbent on us; we must school ourselves to be tolerant of their failings, make allowance for their ignorance, forgive their misdoings and help them in their need.”

Stoics also believe that the wellbeing of our club depends on that of its members; “the collective’s interests neither outweigh or negate individual interests, it is simply that the two co-exist in indissoluble union and must be cherished together.”

Practical

Research reveals that poor behaviour at the table is the most consistent issue affecting our ability to grow our sport. People simply want to play bridge in a friendly and welcoming environment.

If we can’t attract new members to our club, and then retain them, our club will wither and die.

We are losing too many new members because someone was rude to them at the table. Whilst I understand that some people may be overly sensitive, it is incumbent on all of us (especially senior players) to try very hard to make sure our new members feel welcome and valued.

Legal

Bridge Law 74 states that “players must maintain a courteous, proper attitude and avoid actions that cause annoyance, embarrassment, or interfere with others’ enjoyment”

Put simply, if you breach this Law 74 you could have your playing rights suspended.

In addition to Law 74, the TBA has its own Code of Conduct which is available on the web site.

The Bridge Club is one of our extended families. Let us behave there like Sextus (Marcus’ first philosophy teacher) “never displaying a sign of anger or any kind of emotion, he was at once entirely imperturbable and yet full of kindly affection”

Julie Rhodes
May 2026